Dear Family, friends, in-laws and out laws,
This past January is when my dad passed away from a heart attack brought on
by the impacts of pneumonia. He was 88
years old and other than the 4 weeks he spent
in the hospital with pneumonia
and the post recovery he was
independent and living life on his own terms. Clint and I were with him when he
passed and he left this world as he had lived his life, on his own terms and making his own decisions. We should all be so lucky to live and die on
our terms after 88 trips around the sun that were pack full of life to the
brim. He is deeply missed but we all know that life is a terminal condition and
I am grateful to have had the time we did and that he got to leave calling his
own shots.
February was a time for adjustment. I had previously started home health care for
both my parents prior to my dad getting sick and we expanded this for my
mother. The folks from Clark Home Health care were phenomenal and I was
astounded at the gains she made in personal independence. She has been doing
her own laundry, fixing her own breakfasts and lunches, and washing her own
dishes. We have a dear friend and neighbor Amy Hall that is a retired geriatric
nurse who is providing foot care and helping with showers. Clint and I bring
her dinner every day, check her medications, get her to medical appointments,
and handle household maintenance and lawn mowing and thus far she is doing well
on her own. Clark Home Health signed off on her needing help based on the gains
she made. Her GP doc is suggesting that we re-evaluate this winter but so far
she is the most independent and functional I have probably ever seen her. Caelun has had some difficulty with the loss
of Grandpa Bob but the combination of time and the caring staff at school has
helped him tremendously. February brought the end to the policy debate season
and as my dad would have told me “the learning must go on” so it did and as a
testament to my students despite the distractions of their coach losing her
father they broke to quarter finals at both the JV and varsity levels at the
GVSU State Debate Tournament.
March
and April headed us into spring. Clint went through some of my dad’s seed stores
and started seeds. 12 flats in total. We also began plans for a memorial garden
that was a vision of my brother Tom. The plants and shrubs began to arrive from
every corner of the country by the dozen. Because life goes on we had our
annual egg hunt at the farm with 8 kids hunting 90 eggs each. We had a moment
when the bell rang and it wasn't dad ringing it but ring it we did off the
hunters were off as it should have been. April also brought a glorious day for
a space themed birthday party with bubbles and Tang galore as the little kid
celebrate the completion of his 7th trip around the sun. We also had
some drama when the metal roof that pre dates my grandparents purchase of
the farm in 1941 blew off the house. It then rained several inches into the
house. I had wanted to replace the roof on the farm the previous year but my
dad had vetoed it. Let me tell you there was much swearing at a dead guy on the
9 pm drive to the farm in the snow/rain in the dark, with flash lights, because
the power was knocked out, to assess the damage. Damage there was lots of
water, carpet had to be removed, and KILZ and new dry wall are our friends but
there is indeed a new metal roof put on by T&C Construction with a 40 year warranty
on the paint. With fresh paint inside, the old farm house can again accommodate
the next generations of Medford’s and their progeny. I did tell the little kid
the next roof is his problem and I won’t veto him if I am still around when he
says it needs a new one.
May brought more plants and plans for the memorial garden,
state finals for forensics where I had several students competing, and the big
kids senior prom and graduation. What a glorious sunny day it was we watched
her walk across that stage to collect that piece of paper signifying the end of
a chapter and the beginning of another. Memorial
Day weekend also brought the fruition of the planning for the garden party at
the farm to celebrate my dad’s life and plant his memorial garden. My brother
Tom flew in several days before and along with Clint, our neighbor Jerry Hall,
my nieces Tracy, Jenny, and their husbands Scott, and Todd and Jenny’s daughters
Courtney and Isabell we built a pergola designed by Tom and Scott. The plants
and shrubs for the garden came from hundreds of family and friends. We gathered
together on a warm sunny day to celebrate my dad’s joys and achievements, honor his service in WWII, share our grief,
eat a wonderful meal, and walk his trails on his beloved farm and all those
things were accomplished. Caelun said it best in his closing quote from Dr.
Seuss “How did it get so late so soon? It is December before it’s June. Look at
how the time has flewn. How did it get so late so soon?” We spread his ashes in
the garden and in many corners of the farm as he had requested. The garden bloomed
all though the summer and will again in
the spring. There is plenty of space if anyone wants to add anything, there is
a bench at the pergola for those wishing to sit and appreciate the view, the
fire pit for those wishing to have a bonfire. I know dad would be happy to know
he was remembered in this way.
June brought the fabulous celebration for our big kid's HS open
house. There were tables groaning with
food, 2 chocolate fountains, and mountains of cake. Everything was
draped in red and black her school
colors with my grandmother Ethel Medford’s antique canning jars filled with
silk flowers from David Steinhoff's crafts as a reminder that even when people
leave they are still with us. Her sweet face was displayed everywhere
represented in images from the day she was born to the day she walked across
the stage to get her diploma. Two days before is when we learned of the passing
of Florence The Great but as she would have wanted, the joy should go on and so it did where her
card and gift that were already written and prepared were presented. We ate, celebrated because
regardless of pain and loss … and even more because of pain and loss, joy must not be postponed.
In July we celebrated Independence Day at the farm with a
bonfire in dad’s garden and sparklers. We roasted hot dogs and marshmallows and
spent the night looking at the stars until we went to bed under the new metal
roof in the old farm house where folks that share my DNA have been falling
asleep for more than 70 years and with some luck will continue into the future
for generations to come. July also brought the final decision on where the big kid would head to school.
She had been deciding between Ferris State and GRCC and she decided that GRCC’s
size and distance from home was her preference so we helped her set up a
schedule. Our Cherry trees did there
thing and we have 23 pounds of frozen cherries in our freezer. If you are
hungry pie come on over.
August we headed out to the Blue Ridge Mountains to a cabin
in NC. We hiked, and slept, and hiked, and read books, and hiked, and ate, and
hiked. I took lots of pictures… another gift my dad left me the ability to make
beautiful images of places I have been. My mother was not thrilled we went on
vacation but through the care of our neighbors and our big kid she managed
quite well.
September we headed back to school – 2nd grade,
college freshman, and 2 veteran teachers. Caelun has moved to a new building
with new teachers and support folks,
Abbi is a new college student, Clint had a waiting list for his pharmacy tech classes,
and my debate team in spite of having had funding cut has kids coming out of nowhere
so on we go. I do believe fundraising has become a 2nd job … or
maybe it is a third since my photography business seems to have been taking off
but at any rate none of us are bored. Because we clearly do not have enough to do we
bought a lake house on Nugent Lake in Baldwin. We were attending a wedding in
the area and stumbled across the house for sale from a foreclosure directly across the lake from our dear friends
the Halls and so we made a crazy low offer and heaven help us the bank took it.
We are looking forward to sunny days there this summer. The apple trees at the
farm produced bushels and bushels of apples. After making apple sauce, apple
pie filling, and apple butter we bought
a grinder and press off of Amazon and made our own cider. 11 gallons was the final total and we have 1
gallon left heading into Christmas.
November rolled in with some crazy snow storms. We got 30 inches breaking all kinds of records
for snow for the month of November. We had a fabulous Thanksgiving being joined
by our dear friend from college Dawn Landis and Clint’s step mother Mary and
step sister Amanda and her kids Noah and
Eli. We sent plates to Clint’s Dad Floyd and my mother making it a total of 10
for dinner. We had peach crisp, quince
jam included with the cranberry sauce, cherry, and apple pie all from our trees.
From our garden we got pumpkins for pie, green beans, broccoli, carrots, potatoes, and beets. We also had fresh sage
for the turkey. We all gobbled ‘till we
wobbled. The weekend after Thanksgiving
we hiked up to the farm to cut a tree. We found just the right one in Caelun’s
estimation and it is enjoying a place of honor in our living room.
As we roll through the last days of the year we look back on
joys and losses and we are grateful to be
taking fingers to keyboard once more to reach out and connect with all of you,
near and far that help to make the trips around the sun worthwhile. We can
continue to be found on facebook and if you are in the neighborhood of our burgh that celebrates underwear please stop
in there is always coffee and if you call ahead there will be cherry or apple
pie in no time.
May there be love , peace, and joy in whatever you are celebrating this season and many you find ways to fill the holes created by loss with joy.
Love,
Clint, Pam,
Abbi, Caelun,
Nutmeg the cat
